I woke up with the moon shining in my window, through the curtains like the sun through my eyelids. The disorientation of a street lamp? Where was I laying in the world? I pulled back the curtain to connect myself in space and basked in the moon’s glare.
A typical 4.30 call to think, seemingly this is the best time.
I’ve given up fighting it.
I accept. I am awake.
The moon has called me and I will not resist.
So I stare back, open-eyed and look at the face, it seems to be smirking. Where’s the smiling man in the moon? I look harder, but mostly I glare back, fully opened eyes – this isn’t the sun, I can look without damaging my retina, although it feels like the sun.
I breathe, accept.
I stare back defiant
He smirks back.
I choose not to believe he is smirking.
A thought rushes in, connection.
When did I last connect with the moon? It is my job to connect with the moon, for the moon is there and doesn’t call me up for a date to connect.
But it did.
I connect now. I breathe and let my mind rest.
The thoughts rush in
They are not true
I make it up
Based on some history and some stories of me
I stare unblinkingly
I think love is all there is
I fill my connection with love
I feel my lids getting closer, rays of light emanate from the moon left and right.
Soon there are two moons and my mind wakes up, my lids magnetize apart and there is one moon again, obscured by the horizontal of the window.
I wiggle myself in space, move my hand from my head to heart.
Connect with the moon
I think only love
That is all there is
Connection arises, love
I think about my lack of connection at the moment with people in my life.
It is my doing I realise, the people are still there.
I have a conversation with the moon
Love is all there is
The face has changed
we send love to each other
I close my eyes sometime later, and I feel the oneness even now